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The Watering System




There are some things in life you just don't know you desperately need even though they are looking you square in the face. For me, a watering system was one of those kind of things. It is sort of odd that although I knew spending an hour and a half watering my garden was an excessive use of time better spent on other things and although I knew such things as watering systems existed, I never considered that I could have such a thing in my life. “No, that's okay, keep your delicious steaks. I will just be contented with my runny gruel.”

I guess in part I thought that installing a watering system would be both difficult in application and expensive. That is true in many situations. It can be extremely expensive if you have someone else install a system. It can also be expensive depending on the type of system you choose. However, an inexpensive and relatively easy to install system can be created for almost any gardening situation.

When I became convinced that I could no longer live without some sort of automated way to water my garden I began to research my options. My husband was a big proponent of getting water to where we needed it without using garden hoses. He and gardening hoses do not get along. Not only does he dislike the way they are either always in the way or alternately hard to reach, the hoses seem to have it out for him as well. They like to trip him up. They like to slide into a patch of puppy poo so he gets and inelegant surprise when coiling the hose. They like to kink and twist and grab hold of various rocks or projections along pathways in order to make him backtrack when trying to move them from one place to another.


They only look like this when you first bring them home...


And this just brushes the surface of what manner of evil garden hoses can create when you consider the sprayer nozzle. Every year we in desperation purchase yet another sprayer nozzle hoping for just one thing – that the blasted thing will spray outward versus what always happens which is they dribble water down your wrist. Incontinent spray nozzles are one of the banes of my existence. It isn't just that having water dribble down your wrist is such a horrible thing in itself, but rather this makes it nearly impossible to be wearing gloves while you water. If I water the plants my glove will get soppy which makes it rather useless as a glove. So there I would be with my glove/sponge which makes my hand filthy which pretty much defeats one of the main reasons I wear the glove. What is that you say? I could take the glove off. Well yes, and that is what I do, but as I have mentioned in another post, I am a mosquito magnet. Nothing quite pisses me off as much as having mosquito bites on my hands and wrists. To get past the mosquitoes I try to move quickly and wave my hands around as much as possible which I am sure makes me look like some sort of deranged puppet dancing to invisible strings, and much more importantly makes it very difficult to provide water strategically. The whole benefit of hand watering is that you provide water specifically to each plant instead of to a large surrounding area.

The dribbler...


Before the drought days in our garden we would water the entire garden with a oscillating sprinkler. This is a great thing if you are not trying to conserve water. Your plants love it, the neighborhood birds love it and so do the weeds. It is like you are creating rain whenever you want to. This unfortunately is the least effective and most costly way to water your garden. It also involves dealing with oscillating sprinklers which are near cousins of spray nozzles. Now an oscillating sprinkler does not dribble water down your arm – oh no, it wouldn't stoop to that. Not when it can blast your entire body as you rush out trying to time its spray just so you can modify its oscillations. These type of fan sprinklers also like to flop over so they will be pointing directly into the ground and sort of drilling the water into the earth. When you rush out to upright them chances are you will end up with an exhilarating blast of water up your nose. Ah how I miss the oscillating sprinkler days.

They look so peaceful when they are sleeping...


Now considering the following: 1) garden hoses that need to be replaced every couple of years or so; 2) spray nozzles that need to be replaced every year (sometimes they take an unfortunate header into a rock or hammer); 3) oscillating sprinklers which have to be replaced every year because the break when you trip over them or hit them with the mower because they were buried in the tall grass; 4) a large water bill because you are using more water than you need due to over-spray and evaporation; The conclusion we reached was that minus these expenses we could well afford a reasonable automatic watering system.

My husband had already brought water to the entire perimeter of our yard via pvc pipe in order to allow us easier access to water spigots and allow for shorter lengths of water hose to reach the entire yard. Our first idea was to simply put in several upright risers with sprinkler heads attached to them. We found the sprinkler heads very affordable at the big box hardware/lumber store at around $2.50 each. We also found this thing called a sprinkler head converter that would allow us to change the system to a drip irrigation system. The isle the sprinkler heads were on was filled with various gadgets for sprinkler systems and drip irrigation. Bin after bin of little things that served various purposes, all of which became overwhelming.

We left the big box with a couple of things and set home with a basic idea in mind. We would put two sprinkler heads into each of the ceder fence beds. One head would be at the south end and one head at the north end. The sprinklers were adjustable so they would not exceed the 3 foot width and between the two of them we would have full coverage. Excited with our plan we began to put it into effect. One of our goals was to make this system as attractive as possible, so we endeavored to bury the pvc pipe. No worries here. I just dug a trench along the long edge of one bed and then inward from the north and south ends of the bed to their center. The idea was to run a common pipe between two beds which would branch to each bed at the north and south ends. This way we would have a system master control for every two beds. The problem was placing the pipe at the north and south ends. Having already established beds with wooden walls, it was hard to get the lengths of pvc under the bed walls. We managed and would have attached everything but we were chased out of the garden by several days of hard rain (yes, I did consider it ironic that rain was stalling our endeavors to bring water to our garden).

During our rain delay I perused the internet and became more interested in drip irrigation systems. This method was the gold standard of water systems. First of all, this type of watering does not get the leaves of plants wet. Wet leaves is one of the key reasons some of our plants wither and die due to opportunistic molds, fungus and mildew. It is bad enough we have nearly 80% humidity most of the year. The last thing those plants need is further wetting. The second wonderful thing about this type of watering system is that it is hidden. No risers or sprinkler heads visible and lush non mildewy plants? Sign me up! The third and most wonderful thing about drip irrigation systems is that they are nearly impervious to water loss through evaporation and you can specifically water an area by the way you align the drip lines.

Of course all this wonderfulness about drip irrigation systems was hampered by the fact they are expensive on the magnitude of about $20 extra per bed. With over a dozen beds we wanted them for the price was prohibitive. It turns out you can't just put in a drip line hooked to your regular water line - oh no – you have to have a filter to keep all the crud out of the little drip lines so they don't clog. You have to have a water pressure reducer to bring your water pressure down to the delicate level of those drip lines so they don't explode – and you must have a return preventer so the lowered water pressure does not backwash nasty things into the water for your house. It is probably one of the most OCD type of watering systems there could be.

Just imagine dollar signs above each of the descriptions...


My husband rescued us from our dilemma by proposing we could use regular soaker hoses. Now the difference between a soaker hose and a drip irrigation system is one of size of hose mostly. A drip irrigation system is tiny little lines, sort of like a Barbie funhouse sort of thing. Soaker hoses are 5/8 inch regular garden hoses except they are porous. Hooking them up would be as complicated as hooking up a garden hose – no need for a fancy emitter. I was not entirely convinced we would not need some sort of pressure regulator to reduce the pressure in the lines. I kept reading reports of people getting busted soaker hoses because the pressure was too high. Mostly I was reading these reports from places that wanted to sell me pressure regulators. Then bless the internet and humanities willingness to share, I ran across a gardening forum where someone said, “Just turn the spigot on a quarter turn to keep the pressure low enough for the soaker hose.” Tada! Pressure problem solved.

We went back to the big box store with renewed purpose. Now our goal was to have a single spigot for each garden bed upon which we would attach a 25 foot soaker hose. The hose would be more than enough to wind through the 3 ft by 6 ft bed and give every plant and every configuration of plants a water supply. We gathered together our needed things:

spigots called hose bibbs for each bed, 


spigots called garden valves for high risers every three beds, 


½ inch pvc pipe (it comes in 10 foot lengths), 


smooth slip T heads for each spigot riser, 


90 degree elbows with one end smooth and the other a female threaded end to attach the spigots to the riser (every three beds we had a high riser leading to a regular garden valve. We decided to use that riser for the hose bibb as well and this required a T head with two ends smooth and the third end a female thread),


connectors to attach the long lengths of pipe,


and pvc cement to put it all together.


Here is our basic plan:

 The PVC pipe coming from the left brings the water supply.  The pipe is cut and a T-head is inserted allowing for a short riser of cut PVC to be inserted.  The riser is topped by a threaded 90 degree elbow which allows a Hose bibb to be attached.  This will be turned to face into the garden bed.  The PVC pipe continues to the next bed where this scenario is again repeated.  At the third bed, a short riser is topped with a threaded T-head, the threads allowing a Hose bibb to be attached.  Above this is another short piece of PVC which is topped with a threaded end cap and a Garden valve is attached.  This allows us to use a garden hose without disconnecting the soaker hose system.  Below is a graphic showing the various configurations of the soaker hose.


An actual photo of the system shows how the short risers and hose bibbs are angled into the garden bed:


The whole system runs the back of our garden beds and so far we have brought the system into 10 of our beds.  The four remaining systems will be added when I finally have enough energy to create the four remaining beds.  


The PVC pipe is continued to the back of the property and turns the corner continuing to another couple of tall risers with garden valves which we use in the back compost area and the center garden beds.  I am really upbeat and excited about what we have accomplished.  It did not take us very long to get this far with it and once we can verify the pipes are not leaking we will bury the PVC and create a smooth walkway in the back of the garden.  

Probably one of the reasons I am the happiest right now is because we have yet to turn on the water to the thing.  I find I am the most content with my virtual reality.  Once we add the actual water I may be posting how awful it all is, but for now I am ridiculously happy.  Better living through ignorance.



The garden March-es on...


Just a couple of months ago I was breaking my back getting all my garden beds prepped for Gardening Version 2012 and I am excited to report that now in March – I am still breaking my back getting all my garden beds prepped for this year.

Don't get me wrong. There has been some progress. I went from having a mere four completely redone 3ft by 6ft ceder fence garden beds with their 22 inch pathways on all sides to now ten. I transformed the center garden from three east/west facing rows into two north/south facing rows and additionally created an extensive rock pathway within this bed area. I completely remodeled the grapefruit bed from a single massive horseshoe shaped bed into three manageable beds. I also have planted most of these beds and have harvesting radishes and mustard greens.

Yet even though it seems like I have done a lot there is much, much more that needs to be done. Currently we are installing a watering system that will allow us to have drip hoses in every one of the ceder fence garden beds. Now I know when you just read that it did not have the impact on you that it has on me. Just seeing the words 'watering system' much less 'drip hoses' makes my heart beat faster.

Perhaps I should explain. Last year, what with the relentless drought and 100 plus degree temperatures I would spend somewhere around an hour and a half every morning just watering my garden. An hour an a half I could have been oh, I don't know, maybe sleeping or weeding the garden or harvesting the massive amounts of produce or performing basic hygiene. As it was I spend an hour and a half just watering and then pretended I didn't see the weeds, snatched the fruit and vegetables off the plants and did the bare minimum hygiene stuff necessary to make sure people were not offended by my presence.

I have a dream and it goes like this. I get up at a reasonable hour, saunter out to my garden where I turn on my 'watering system' which starts all my 'drip hoses' and then I leisurely weed the garden, pick the abundant produce from the thriving plants and luxuriate in a long hot shower before I casually look over my water bill and laugh because it is so low. I like the virtual watering system very much. It almost seems a shame that we have to actually install it because that is sure to put some wrench into the works in some annoying way that we can't foresee because you just don't know what you don't know. But I have tonight before we turn it on for the first time, so I am still living the dream.

I thought I would provide an introduction to each of the beds to have as a reference for later in the year. These first group of garden beds are in the ceder fence area that is protected by the dog-proof fence.

Ceder fence garden bed number 1 - "Herbie"
This bed is only partially planted because many the wonderful seeds I lovingly pressed into the soil refused to sprout. Currently it is home to cilantro, a mixture of salad greens, fennel, basil, and curled parsley.



Bed number 2 - "Leeky Creole"
At the north end of this bed is one of the Creole tomatoes we are trying this year. Supposedly this tomato will set fruit in hot humid weather. The rest of this bed is filled with yellow onions, leeks and garlic.


Bed number 3 - "Big Boy"
The north end of this bed has a Big Boy tomato plant. I consider all of the tomatoes in competition with each other, so we will see how this guy stacks up to the other contenders. I should mention that I am trying a new tomato restraint system this year since last years 'lash the tomatoes with string between several bamboo poles' was a horrible, horrible idea. This year I am using a C shaped cage of dog fence which I will increase in height as the tomatoes get larger. Perhaps this will be the year I will find my tomato caging solution. This bed also has a couple of cabbages and two different sweet peppers, a Gypsy and a Sweet Banana. There is also an extra cucumber plant snuggled in next to the tomato cage.  The pots along the side of this bed are several fig trees we sprouted last year.  They are awaiting distribution to their new homes.


Bed number 4 - "Bunny the Quick"
This bed is almost identical to bed three except that is houses the tomato “BN444” – some sort of determinate hybrid. I like this tomato since it has won the 'first to set fruit' award. I like it so much that from now on I am giving it a proper name to replace it uninspiring clone sounding name. I will call it Bunny the Quick from now on. The south side of this bed has cabbages, sweet peppers and another orphan cucumber plant.


Bed number 5 - "Cornie Creole"
Okay, again this is a tomato at the north and cabbages, sweet peppers and orphan cucumber at the south, but this tomato is another Creole and these sweet peppers are a Corno de Toro and a mild Tam Jalepeno.


Bed number 6 - "Burpless"
This bed still needs its trellis to support the hybrid burpless cucumbers it is holding. This type of cucumber is a miraculous beast that just laughs at powdery mildew that kills off all the other cucumber types I have tried. It also is a workhorse in production and soon, very soon I will be asking myself just why I planted so many of these plants. The cucumber orphans are of this variety which means that very soon we will be discovering just how many cucumbers we can consume in a single day without ill effect.


Bed number 7 - "UnYuns"
This was the first bed I planted and if you looked at my earlier gardening post from January you will see the onions have valiantly rebounded from their ravishing by the opposums. The onions to the west of this bed are yellow and the east side are red. The center of this bed are scallions and at the very back are garlic plants.


Bed number 8 - "It's not easy being greens"
This bed is hosting collard greens, turnips, mustard greens and until recently, radishes. It is also being plagued by snails and caterpillars which are making lace of the leaves. Soon though I will find my organic slug and snail bait and my caterpillar BT powder and this bed will feel much better.


Bed number 9 - "Butternut"
These guys are butternut squash and if they do what their family members did during the fall garden then we will have a whole bunch of very large squash on plants that will try to overrun the entire ceder garden area.



Bed number 10 - "Pickles"
Here are some more cucumbers, but these are pickling cucumbers. I actually purchased these before I was able to find my burpless hybrids. They are supposed to be hardier than other types of cucumbers, but they will have to prove themselves.  Regarding as to why this bed looks like it is out of the Flintstones cartoon.  I found myself with an abundance of energy and a lack of correctly cut lumber.  We have a whole bunch of rocks we have collected and I decided to use them as a temporary holding wall to shape the bed. 



The great beyond...


This is a picture of what is yet to come. It may look like a bunch of dirt and rocks, but this is proto-garden. This will become four more beds in the not too distant future, baring early excessive hot weather, my body  giving out, or me actually coming to my senses. The plan is that this area will be for the wildly vining things like cantaloupe and watermelons.

Stay tuned...

It has begun...



Well it was bound to happen sooner or later knowing how much of my past has been caught up in this thing.  The garden of 2012 is off to a roaring start.  The roaring is mainly me after spending hour upon hour 'getting the beds ready' which is just another term for 'tear everything up you did last year and start all over again'.

Some people spend January feeling the aches and pains of their newly resolved exercise regimes.  I feel the aches and pains of my gardening.   Hey, who needs a gym when you can simply move several tons of earth. And then move it again because it needs to be over there.  And then move it again because you have to make sure the soil is just right...  and again because you need to add some amendment to the soil.  Then you are ready to move it again in small quantities as you plant and weed and pull the things out that died and then replant with other things.

They say that those who do the same thing over and over again while expecting different outcomes are crazy.  That about explains gardening.

Currently my project involves redoing the 'new' garden area we put in last year.  This year I decided that the 6 x 6 ft beds were too wide and they would be better as 3 x 6 ft beds.  I also decided there was not nearly enough room between the beds and the wooden fence and between the beds and the wire dog proof fence.  No problem.  All I needed to do was divide the six foot beds in half, put 22 inch walkways between the wooden fence and the beds, between each bed and between the beds and the dog proof fence.

This of course meant dismantling every single raised bed and moving half the soil 22 inches to the left or right then removing about 7 inches of soil from the fence line.  I also decided to make stable pathways between each bed which means moving many, many, many paving stones from where they currently reside through a long and unsteady path to the garden.  I also wanted to stabilize the raised beds with ceder frames, so each bed needed to be precisely three feet wide by six feet long because that works with the ceder fence slats we have.  Getting soil to maintain a specific size is a chore all its own.

My neurosis did not end there as I decided that not only would I redo the beds already in existence, but also add in 4 new beds, bringing the total of beds along the wooden fence to 11.  I have a feeling that before it is all over the 11 is going to become 12 because, well, 12 is such a nice number and after your body is already overcome with intense soil busting pain, what is another four or five hours of back-breaking labor?

I have currently completed beds number 7, 8, 1 and 9.  This means they have wooden frames and three of them also have been planted.  Here is the proof in beds seven and eight:

Look - it's an onion bed!

And what a sorry looking onion bed it is.  You will have to trust me that it looked much, much better the first 24 hours after I planted it and amended the soil with blood meal which provides a nice nitrogen boost that onions love.  Unfortunately other things love blood meal too.  I had anticipated the sweet little-big Border Collie wanting to partake of this delicacy so I had stressed to my husband how we should make sure she did not get past the dog proof fence.

I forgot to insist that the same rule apply to the opossums or whatever malicious bastard painstakingly dug up every single onion sprout I had lovingly planted.  Ah the joy of replanting the now worse for wear sprouts.  If you look closely you can see them lying in a state of downtrodden malaise along the outer lengths of the bed - yes those hair like green wilted looking things.  The bigger green onions are some that I found miraculously growing in another garden area (now dismantled) that survived the horrific drought of 2011.  As you can see they are prostrate with grief over my having moved them to a better location. 

Radishes! - the gardeners friend.
Here is bed number eight which is currently hosting various greens (there in the background) and also Radishes!  Radishes! are a gardeners best friend because they sprout in like about seven minutes and just look at them - over planted but loving it!.  How can you not be happy, happy, happy when seeing how eager Radishes! are to spring into life.  I don't really even like Radishes! that much but I plant them every year because at least I can grow Radishes!

Bed number one I just planted with seeds this evening and of course there is a very heavy downpour expected tomorrow.  This means that at the crack of dawn I am going to have to go out and cover up the bed with a sheet or something to keep the seeds from being washed out of the bed.  I also need to cover over the partially constructed beds to try and keep the soil mounded in the somewhat six foot by three foot shapes.  I don't have enough paving stones around the beds yet, but what I do have is freshly turned soil which is guaranteed to turn into a sinking abyss of mud. 

Yes, it is only January and I am already feeling the every present NEED of the garden taking over my life.

This brings me to something I was pondering as I was digging my tenth cubic yard of dirt (weight estimate at 1700 lbs per cubic yard).  Most people have not the foggiest idea of the kind of labor it takes to grow food.  When I mention to people that I garden, they usually assume I plant flowers and when they hear about all the vegetables I plant each year they usually say "How many acres do you have?"  Less than one.  We 'farm' in a 50 foot by 70 or so foot of earth.  We certainly don't grow everything we eat, but we do grow enough we can share with friends and family.  Considering that we are able to produce quite a bit of food from a relatively small area - and if we really were relying on this for our food, we could turn quite a bit more of our backyard into 'farmland' - I wonder why more people don't help themselves out by gardening some of  what they eat.

Then of course I snap out of it and realize that most people, upon finding out what kind of labor intensive work small gardening consist of, would be mentally healthy enough to avoid it like the plague.

Ah well, at least I have Radishes!

Online Comics



I know people who start their day with meditation or prayer. I know people who write in their journals or read inspirational books first thing in the morning. I too have my morning ritual. I read online comics. Now I admit that might not sound as life-enhancing or meaningful as what other people do, but considering the state of the world, I think it is important for me to see a lighter side of life before I am confronted by reality.

Before the rise of the internet and the subsequent fall of the newspaper, I was an avid news comic reading fan. There were times in my life that the only reason I subscribed to a newspaper was for the comics. I am probably not alone in this. Who needs to know about the events of the day when we can keep up to date with Beetle Bailey. (Okay, that was just to make you squirm - I was not a fan of Beetle Bailey as an adult. Not that I wouldn't check it out in the paper, but 365 days in a row of 'not funny' strips tend to put me off of a comic.)

My comic reading began as it does for most of us as a child looking at the Sunday funnies. My sister and I would divide the funny papers up because there was no way we would consider reading them together. That kind of close togetherness was something we avoided and when forced upon us often resulted in a fight. She and I had 'differences of opinion' - or more accurately she felt I had less refined tastes ("You're a moron for liking that!") while I felt she had less intelligent tastes (No, you're a moron because you don't get it!). Expressing this type of disagreement might result in our parents removing the sacred Sunday funnies from our grasp, so we came upon a solution we could live with. We would each take a section and then trade when we were done. Not that dividing up the funnies didn't also have its drama but we could usually resolve that without shouting.  

I had some favorites when I was a child such as Charlie Brown but I read every one of them except for the soap opera ones that my mother liked. One of the best for me was the comic strip B.C. by Johnny Hart. This was later dramatically enforced when I came across a paperback of his comic strips on the rotating book stand in the local TG&Y store. This was in 1969. I had not known that the comic strips I loved appeared in anything except the Sunday comics, but here it was, a whole bunch of them together in one book. I purchased that book and every other one I found after that. Strangely enough, this collection allowed me to observe the maturation of my brain. In each of the books, there would be one or two comics that I could not understand. This was due to the sometimes 'adult' nature of these comics, which for that day and age meant slightly sexual overtones masked with extreme subtlety. I developed a habit of reading and re-reading these paperbacks because, first of all, I loved them, and second, we only went to TG&Y infrequently and my allowance would only stretch so far. Thus as I amassed my collection and re-read each book, eventually the subtle nuances of some of the comics became clear to me. I can remember the distinct joy of finally 'getting' a strip that had eluded me for years. (I was careful to never share these revelations with my sister given how I was always telling her she 'didn't get it').


Thus I began a collection of comic strip paperbacks that included mostly B.C and Wizard of Id. Occasionally I would get other comics, but I became obsessed with collecting all of what Johnny Hart had made. This became easier when my family began visiting used book stores. The first B.C. book had been printed in 1959 which meant I had seven of these earlier editions to find. Cheap paperback books over ten years old are not the easiest thing to find. But with determination, eventually, I had his entire collection and added to it each year as he created more. Now, before you think I have amassed some valuable collection I must confess that many of the earlier editions I found were in much less than prime condition, and a couple without the front cover ( I detested the bookseller who decided that the way for him to distinguish a certain quality of books that he would not buy back was to rip off the front cover). I did my best to take care of my collection, but when you are starting with many poorly used versions you can only do so much. To this day my collection sits in plastic sleeves stored in a plastic bin - a bin which I packed with me both times we evacuated from two hurricanes (You can take my house nature - but you are not getting my B.C. collection!)

I guess it was that collection that led me on a quest that continues to this day. When I find a comic strip I like, I get their paperback collections. I don't just get one or two, I usually persist until I have them all. Sometimes my tastes change or perhaps it is that the comic strip creator's creation changes and I stop reading them and stop collecting the books, but there are a few that I have a decade or more of their collections.

Now, as I first mentioned, the rise of the internet and the decline of the newspaper has changed the way I view comics. I now have access to every comic strip created via various websites. What is more, I have found some comics whose sole existence is online. I have all of these bookmarked and I pull them up in a particular order of preference. The following are some of my morning comic feeds.

 Dilbert




- satirical office humor
Creator - Scott Adams

This comic starts off my morning and is the only one I allow to send me its strip via email. Every morning I get to view Dilbert's antics before any other news assaults my brain. Dilbert and I go way back into my days of working in a cubicle for Xerox corporation. I started my career with Xerox in 1985 and Scott Adams published his first strip in 1989. He was a genius in his portrayal of the office environment I was afflicted with. Although my career with Xerox only spanned six years I must have suffered some sort of office-based PTSD because to this day I can empathize with the situations portrayed in his strip. I have all of his comics in book form and even some non-comic strip books he has written. Dilbert's Website

Pros: Great, current, and sometimes hilarious office humor. Scott Adams wit continues to be sharp throughout his lengthy career.

Cons: If you have not worked in an office you may not appreciate or get some of his jokes. Occasionally he goes off on less funny tangents. If you are looking for incredible artwork, keep looking.

Funny versus Unfunny strip ratio: Dilbert's funny average is about 7.5 out of 10 strips. Some weeks he is 10 for 10.




Get Fuzzy

- the adventure of Rob Wilco, Bucky Katt and Satchel Pooch
Creator: Darby Conley

I can still remember the first time I saw this comic strip. The character named Rob was sitting on the couch watching TV with the dog named Satchel. He says, "You know you can't turn me off with that." The next frame shows Bucky the cat holding the TV remote and shouting, "Then mute, mute, mute!" I knew upon seeing that I had found comic strip gold. This was back in 1999 and he published his first collection in 2001 which I quickly snatched up. It is interesting watching a comic strip from its inception because it changes slowly but surely through the years. Darby has always had the most incredibly intricate and realistic artwork which is fascinating in itself. The style of his characters has slowly developed through the years and although I love the look, I also loved the original look of the characters. He partners his artwork with some great jokes and visual humor. Sometimes this comic will have a long patch of less than laugh-out-loud strips or venture off into strange alternate characters. I figure this is the ultimate fate of any comic that has a long duration. The creator is bound to have times when he struggles to create with the same freshness of his original strips. He always bounces back though and delivers solidly great humor.
Get Fuzzy at GoComics.com

Pros: Excellent characters and artwork.  Consistently funny themes and stories that may last for weeks.
Cons: Occasional dry spells or awkward storylines.  
Funny versus Unfunny strip ratio: Averages funny 7 out of 10 strips but when he is on, he is on and can rate an 11 out of ten with some of his humor.


One Big Happy
 
- humorous observations about a child and her family
Creator:  Rick Detorie

I ran across this comic in the newspaper and found his portrayal of Ruthie the little girl and her family to be a humorous portrayal of family life in an idealistic setting. The portrayal of Ruthie reminds me of the character Ramona from the Beverly Cleary books. I want there to be a family like Ruthie's with her calm and reasonable parents, next door Grandparents, and various other friends and family members. I liked it so well I bought a collection. As is my style I then proceeded to purchase another of Rick Detorie's collections, but I always had trouble finding his work in the stores. I eventually purchased every collection that had been made and noticed there had been some time between the last one and the current date. In a very unlike-me moment I left an email for the author letting him know how much I liked his work and how I was looking forward to his next published collection. Surprisingly Rick answered me back himself and thanked me for my kind words but told me that there would not be any more collections. His publisher did not think there was a market for them. I think his publisher is nuts because this comic strip is well-drawn, humorous, and empathetic to families. At least I can see the daily strips, but I long for a collection.
One Big Happy at Creators.com

Pros: Great portrayal of family life and life through the eyes of a spirited little girl.
Cons: The only one I can think of is that there are not more published collections
Funny versus Unfunny strip ratio: Averages funny 6 to 7 out of 10 strips.



XKCD

- science and computer geek based humor
Creator:  Randall Munroe

I ran across this online comic when it was mentioned in the comments section of a news feed I read. I was captivated by its scientific wit. This strip is published on Mon., Wed., and Fri so when I am on a day where there is no new content I click on random and see one of the many strips created before I began visiting the site. I have to admit that sometimes I don't get this comic because I don't have enough math, physics, or scientific background. Sometimes I will have to Google something in the comic to 'get it'. I think it took me about two weeks before I noticed there was an extra punchline when you scrolled over the comic.
XKCD website

Pros: Genuinely thought-provoking and humorous with a scientific/math/physics leaning.
Cons: If you don't like scientific/math/physics topics you will probably not 'get' this comic.
Funny versus Unfunny strip ratio: A surprising 8 out of 10 funny strips.  Sometimes the strips are not supposed to be 'funny' but rather thought-provoking.  There have been very few times when I thought this strip was not interesting.





Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

- a geek comic, with a broad range of topics, such as love, relationships, economics, politics, religion, science, and philosophy.
Creator: Zach Weiner

Another online comic I found in my quest for internet comic enlightenment. This one has some great science and philosophy-based content. It is definitely an adult comic - not that it has any overtly naked or sexually explicit stuff, but it does have sexual themes from time to time. It also will go after practically any topic with ruthless abandon which probably could be offensive if you held strong views on the topic at hand. In a lot of ways this comic reminds me of XKCD only, it has color and doesn't have as much 'math' and its themes tend to pack a little more 'punch'. SMBC website

Pros: Thought-provoking and funny.

Cons: Thought-provoking and sometimes makes me cringe.  
Funny versus Unfunny strip ratio: About 7 funny per 10 strips.


Home Office (formerly Stay at Home Dad)

- the antics of a home office father and his family
Creator: Michael Wright


This is a relatively new comic for me that I found when I was looking for all my other comics from the newspapers.  I found an online comic collection site and this one was recommended because of another comic strip I liked.  This strip has a lot going for it.  The artwork is eye-catching and stands out.  The strips though simply drawn convey a lot.  I have been enjoying the humor since I too have a home office, although I am not a consultant like the main character Bob.  This strip marks the second time I have contacted a strip creator.  This happened because I noticed that the strip was not being published with consistent frequency.  The strip also had a huge caution sign above it stating something like "read at your own risk" because the online comic collection providers did not read the strip so they were not sanitizing it for our safety.  So I did something that was once again out of character for me.  I sent an email to the author expressing my enjoyment of his work and hoping there was not some calamity befalling him that was keeping him from providing me with daily doses of humor.  I was surprised to receive a personal email from Michael Wright who said there had been no calamity, just another project he was working on.  That is when I found out he had written a few children's books.  Being who I am I ordered those and let me tell you - superb artwork, cute story lines, and great rhymes.  You can find his 'Jake' series of children's books here: http://michaelwrightland.com/  ( He really needs better marketing because believe me - if you were to try and find his work by yourself without my help - you might give up trying)

Home Office at Creators.com

Pros: Funny situations and great drawing.

Cons: Intermittent new stuff. 

Funny versus Unfunny strip ratio: Funny 6 - 7 out of 10 strips.

 Pearls Before Swine

- chronicle of the daily lives of anthropomorphic animals
Creator: Stephan Pastis


I was late to the party in reading this comic.  Interestingly the first few times I tried to read it I found it off-putting and I didn't 'get it'.  This may well have been because the storyline of the strip can sometimes be hard to follow if you don't catch it at the first installment.  The characters are charmingly rude to one another, especially Rat to Pig.  The fact that Stephan used to be a lawyer might have something to do with the brusque behavior of the characters but probably is more due to Mr. Pastis' bend toward the dark side of humor.  I have begun acquiring his comics and discovered something wonderful.  His comic collection treasuries, which are two of the comic collections put together, have author notes which are not found in the single collections.  In his notes, Stephan gives insight into what went into creating the strip and sometimes how he had to self censor the strip for it to be published.  I wish all comic strip creators would do this with their treasuries.  If they did I would probably get them despite already owning the single collections - because that is just how weird and obsessed of a comic fan I am. Pearls Before Swine at GoComics.com

Pros: Funny, dark, humor
Cons: Not going to win awards for artistic skills.

Funny versus Unfunny strip ratio: A solid funny 8 out of 10 strips.

Well, that is probably enough for now.   This is just a partial list of the comics I find most interesting.  It is nice to start my day with them.

Sibling Rivalry



Anyone who is a sibling has probably experienced this to some degree.  Your brother/sister is in competition with you to get all the good things that your parents and life has to offer.  This can lead to stressful encounters and in some cases I have read about in the news, lawsuits and worse yet, homicide.  Luckily for my sister and I it never devolved into anything more than a few physical scuffles, name calling and tears.  The physical scuffles were confined to our very early childhood (meaning that she being almost three years older than me and therefore much bigger did not hesitate to use her physical advantage in conflicts before she reached the 'age of reason' - also known as comprehending that 'parents will punish you if you slug your sister') and we weren't allowed to use course language, so the name calling was typically made up words that sounded bad (she once called me a 'sclurge' which did not infuriate me as much as the fact that she would not tell me what that word meant).  Eventually we learned to ignore one another in spectacularly spiteful ways (sticks and stones are nothing compared to the pain of a sister's cold shoulder).  Finally we grew up and no longer needed the sibling rivalry, but it served it purpose to harden us appropriately to the travails of the common workplace.

I had forgotten about sibling rivalry for the most part until recently in having to watch it develop in my own little fur children.  I don't think it will come as a surprise to anyone to learn that my dogs are jealous of one another.  It is not just a same species thing either.  My dogs and my cats are jealous of one another and seek to one up each other all the time.  One of my cats, the smallest of the bunch, will saunter into the house when we open the front door and proceed to nonchalantly wander over to the closest dog and rub up against them, all the while looking up at me and purring.  The dogs are quite taken aback, but also powerless to do what they really want to do which is nip that cat and make her run.  She knows they will be chastised if they are even slightly rough with her.  She also knows that if I was not present she would not be able to get away with this kind of behavior, so she really pours it on thick - headbutting and purring and pushing into them until they give ground to her.  She is willing to chase them all over the house like this, but I recognize it for what it is and keep her from bullying them too much.

The biggest sibling interaction problem I have is with the dogs.  It seemed to begin from the moment we brought little Trudy our Border Collie home.  Lewey, the Westie was convinced that we had actually brought in some sort of vermin and he was going to do us a favor and dispatch it post-haste.  It took several days of him biting the puppy barrier and being told NO! before he realized he was not going to be allowed to kill and eat the puppy.

Our cat Dorie, Trudy at 7 weeks and Lewey, who still thinks puppy should be on the menu.
He eventually realized how great it was to have a puppy to play with and for a little while things were quite nice in Lewey land.



He didn't mind so much when she grabbed him by the face because after all, she was very small.


He even let her sometimes pin him down and it was all great fun because after all, if he really wanted to...


He could show her who was boss.

King Lewey as a happy Alpha-male, top dog of the world

Then the sky fell, or more accurately, growth hormone began to surge through little Trudy and she did not remain the little thing she was.  She became She-Ra - Princess of Power practically overnight.  At first, King Lewey was merely annoyed.  He couldn't actually figure out what the problem was and how he had gone from being bigger than Trudy to being smaller than her.  The only way to resolve this was to challenge her.

You can almost hear the western gunfight background music...

The only problem was that Trudy was sneaky.


She refused to fight fair and become small again.  She even went as far as to flaunt her size...


and bite his neck...



... and even put her paws on him and stood over the top of him.


This all made Trudy very happy.

Princess Trudy contemplating how to annoy Lewey further

It also made Lewey something other than happy...

Well, at least he is in the shade...

We keep telling Lewey that eventually Trudy will grow up and stop being such a bully.  Believe me we do our best to keep the peace between the two of them, but sometimes Lewey decides to take matters into his own paws.


This is all very humorous until one of us humans gets caught in the crossfire.  I have been nipped by Lewey as he was trying to repay Trudy for bowling him over in the back yard and knocking him into the fig tree.  I had witnessed the encounter and had Lewey beneath my feet to defend him as Trudy was making whirling passes around the yard completely oblivious to my commands.  As she came near I reached out to push her away at exactly the same time Lewey leaped forward to exact his revenge.  He caught me with his little middle teeth so hard it left a quarter size bruise on my forearm - mind you he did this through my long sleeve shirt (he was very, very sorry afterward and looked completely embarrassed).

Just last night I was doing my best to dry the dynamic duo off after they had been out in a very welcome and unusual rain storm.  I had them blocked into the washroom and had dried them both fairly well but I wanted to check and make sure their feet were clean.  My intention was to finish with Lewey first and then let him go into the house while I worked on Trudy.  She decided as I bent down to finish little Lewey's legs that she was through waiting.  She proceeded to leap over both of us, but failed to calculate that I was in motion toward the floor.  Her shoulder caught me in the side of the jaw and I saw stars.  Luckily my jaw was merely bruised instead of broken (she was not sorry in the slightest for bumping into me and in fact wondered why I was yelling).

So yes we all have our work cut out for us.  Lewey has to somehow re-establish his kingship.  Trudy must learn to be a calm and considerate princess.  I must learn to stop getting in the way of dogs in motion.




Product Reviews

I was asked to write a review on some vitamins that I purchased and instead of ignoring the request I actually went online and wrote my reviews.  It turned out to be much more fun than I initially anticipated when I realized that 1. I have opinions, 2. Someone at some point was going to read the review and they might appreciate something slightly out of the ordinary, and 3. Humor is not forbidden in the review -in fact, I could put practically anything I wanted in the review as long as I kept it 'clean'.

So, after getting my feet wet with the vitamin reviews I have decided to review other things.  Not mind you that anyone has asked me to review these things, but hey, this information needs to be shared.  How else will you find out about:

The Atlanta Georgia Airport

I would have to give this airport three and a half out of five stars.  Now mind you I truly appreciate the fact that the airplane did not crash, but let's face it.  That was primarily due to the talent of the pilot, although I do concede the whole runway necessary for landing issue.  Actually it is possible my pilot could have landed us in a field for all I know.  He sounded quite competent as he addressed us with his southern drawl periodically throughout the flight.  The flight being totally uneventful in the way of emergency landings means we will never know his capacity in this regard and quite frankly I am happy to keep it that way.

The reason the Atlanta Georgia Airport does not get five stars is because they failed to tell us that we needed to get on the shuttle in order to avoid walking the approximate 1.4 miles to get to baggage claim.  Others might point out the availability of the shuttle as we first exited the plane and the eagerness of our fellow passengers to embark on the shuttle journey, but there was no actual sign saying "Hey, if you don't get on the shuttle you are going to be walking a long, long, long way".  Nope nothing like that.  There were many opportunities for such a sign to exist as well as we hiked from terminal E to D (bypassing another shuttle entry point) on to C, B and A, each with their own shuttle access.  No we didn't get on the shuttle until it seemed we could not walk any further and then we got on the shuttle and it ran for about 10 seconds before depositing us at the end of the line for Baggage Claim approximately 20 feet from where we entered it.  So that dropped this review by a whole point.

The other half point dropped away when we actually entered the long sought Baggage Claim and there were more than a dozen carousels, each with a vast display of flights associated with them, but all of them positioned in a way that you had trouble reading them from a distance.  I am sure the big sign board with all the flights listed should have helped us figure which carousel was ours, but this airport did not list our flight the way our tickets had listed it.  This meant we had to walk down to a helpful person who patiently showed us how the airport worked.  He gets five stars because I am sure helping exhausted people who cannot read a huge sign board might become old after the ninetieth time you have done it, but he seemed genuinely supportive of our quest to retrieve our luggage.

So overall, a good score but slightly less than perfect.  I am sure based on this review they will get right on these issues.


Computer Tablets

Okay, this might be a preemptive review since I have not actually purchased one yet, but I think a review is valid on the actual quest I am going through.  So far I would have to give it a three out of five stars since I have been searching all day and still have more questions than answers.  I will post this review format in the way I have been reading formats all day:

Pros
- I am not oblivious to the fact that this is potentially a product that I want and need and I am grateful they have created such a product.
- They look shiny and new and have all sorts of features.
- Some of them don't cost too terribly much.
- They weigh less than a desktop computer and even less than my old laptop.
- I saw someone on the airplane playing solitaire on one and that is something I would totally do if I were on an airplane.
- I saw someone on the airplane reading a book on one and that is something I would totally do if I were on an airplane.

Cons
- There are way, way, way too many different types, configurations, operating systems, dodads and things to make this an easy comparison shopping experience.
- They have many features, but they are not as functional as a laptop.
- The ones that have all the best stuff cost more than I want to spend.
- They may not weigh very much but I bet they will break if I drop them.
- The major application I would use them for would be getting on the internet which would cost an additional fee.
- I would probably only be using this thing when on trips, and based on the cost of the initial tablet and internet fees I would be paying quite a bit to have a portable solitaire playing, ebook reading and email checking device. 

Of the cons, the one that is the hardest to get around is the enormous amount of variation of devices.  I am definitely not an early adopter and this means that I often avoid getting the initial lemons, but I am left with a task of  figuring out the good from the bad in a very large pool of available products.  What this means for me is that I have to research and take notes and research and take more notes and then make a decision before all my research and note taking becomes obsolete.

Another con is that although I want this device so I can be less weighed down on my various airport hikes and I can check my emails and look at websites whenever I want, neither of these are actually necessities.  I did just fine this last trip without my laptop.  The hotel had a media center where for a small fee I could get online.  I had an actual paper book I could read on the plane.  Mind you I was not able to play solitaire the entire time I was gone, but that was mostly because I didn't think to bring a pack of cards with me.

So, one star lost for being such a pain to figure out and one star lost because I can't actually say I need this thing more than I want this thing.

To be continued...